Updated: Aug 20, 2019
Premise No. 1 and the foundation of Language of Listening®
If you take time to really think about the name of this parenting model (Language of Listening®) it legit tells you what it's all about: speaking in a way that trains you to listen.
And the more information we have the better we can help guide our children (or students) through their challenges.
So How Do We Do It??
We use the first tool in Language of Listening® called SAY WHAT YOU SEE®
Here's how it's done: to show a child you understand them, comment back to them what you “see” them doing, thinking, feeling or saying. It's that simple. Simple and ridiculously effective!
Now, this isn’t meant to be done all the time but instead on occasions when you see behavior you either LIKE or DON’T LIKE. Let’s pretend it’s something you LIKE since the next premise teaches what to do when that happens. For example, let’s say your child remembered to hang up their coat instead of just dropping it on the floor. You can SAY WHAT YOU SEE® with:
“You hung your coat up on the hook. You remembered to put it in its spot!”
Don’t be surprised if your child’s face lights up and you even get a hug!
Seek To Understand
“Everything children DO and SAY is communication (and they must continue to communicate until they are heard).”
If everything children do and say is communication and they will continue to communicate until they are understood, then we need to get on their level AND leave our judgments behind. Sandy (creator of Language of Listening®) teaches when we say what we see it’s: “in through the eyes and out through the mouth” – bypassing the mind and any thoughts or feelings we might have about what we’re seeing.
Laying a Powerful Foundation
Saying what you see is SO simple!! And yet it lays a foundation to something that will revolutionize your relationship with children and EVEN YOURSELF!!
👀Stay tuned as I’m going to share with you where to go with these behaviors you LIKE in order to strengthen your child’s belief in their own abilities AND what to do when you see behavior you DON’T LIKE leading you into holding boundaries that are EMPOWERING for both you AND the child!
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