Ungrateful...


On Fridays, I do free coaching in my parenting group >>> I thought I'd share that coaching with you here! In this post, I talked about how to solve the issue of ungratefulness in your kids! (This strategy also works for ANY quality you are sure your kid doesn't have but you'd really like them to grow it!)​ It's quick and easy, check it out: ​ ​ When we are sure our kids don't have a quality we'd like them to have, using the STRENGTHs tool from Language of Listening® is the quick and effective way to solve the issue!​ ​ When we're talking about a situation like this though, we actually are talking about HIDDEN STRENGTHs because even though gratitude is in them somewhere, it is not permeating their view on life the way you'd like it to!​ ​ So, here's what to do:​ ​ Look for ANY place you can to find proof that your children ALREADY have lots of gratitude and then start pointing it out. This is the HIDDEN STRENGTHs part - it's like you become a detective looking for the tiniest clues. But once you find them and point them out they will start to EXPAND! ​ ​ So what are some ways our child could show they are grateful for something/what they have?​ ​ Well, the first clue I'd look for is when they LIKE something and especially if they are smiling about it. You can take this enjoyment they are experiencing and expand it into a STRENGTH like this:​ ​ Use SAY WHAT YOU SEE® first:​ ​ "You're playing that video game you got for Christmas. you spend a lot of time on it!"​ ​ And then name a STRENGTH: "That shows you know how to enjoy the things you have!"​ ​ OR​ ​ "When dad gave you that sandwich, you smiled at him! That shows you appreciate what he does for you!"​ ​ These messages will start to get through powerfully for your child especially because you gave proof and made it about who they are, instead of about doing something to please others. It's also telling them what they are doing RIGHT instead of pointing out what's wrong.​ ​ Those 2 slight shifts are what gets them allowing that message to really sink in. When it's allowed to sink in, it will start to dictate how they behave, and influence the decisions they make about their behavior. ​ ​ All of a sudden your kids start seeing that they are the kind of person who appreciates what others do for them, and they are the kind of person who knows how to get enjoyment out of the things they own! ​ ​ These things really do become self-fulfilling prophecies. I still smile when my youngest shows up as an extremely helpful person - that was the first STRENGTH I practiced on anyone and it was back when she was just 3 years old. Almost 5 years later and it's still showing up in big ways!​ ​ Want more of this amazingly effective wisdom from Language of Listening®?? Join my group and check out all of the FRUSTRATION FRIDAY, free-coaching posts. I get the topics from my group members so you can get my eyes on your situation and I can pour some Language of Listening® love on it for you! I'd love to have you join us here >>> https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovethewayyouparent/ ​ ​ And, mama, if you just want to skip the waiting and get my eyes on how to make YOUR motherhood more enjoyable NOW. Check out my 1:1 program for moms who want to get their kids to listen in ways that make you BOTH feel closer. Read more about that here: https://www.afteraces.com/love-the-way-you-parent

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